Let’s be real—becoming a parent is a beautiful, life-changing thing…but it’s also a wild ride no one can fully prepare you for. What I wish I knew before becoming a mom could fill an entire notebook (or three). Looking back, there were so many little things—some that made me laugh, some that made me cry, and plenty that made me quietly wonder if I was doing anything right.
This is one of those real talk moments where we set aside the highlight reel and get honest. If you’re a new mom feeling overwhelmed, tired, or unsure, I want you to know you’re not the only one. You’re learning as you go—and that’s okay.
Truth is, none of us have a perfect map for this. We’re all figuring it out, one messy, beautiful day at a time. Let’s talk about it.
What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mom
Before my baby arrived, I read the books, made the lists, and thought I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. But once I was actually in it—the sleepless nights, the big emotions, the tiny baby in my arms—I realized there was so much I didn’t know.
Not because I wasn’t prepared, but because some things you can only learn by living them. That’s where the real lessons come in—the ones no one really talks about until you’re already deep in it. So in the spirit of real talk, I’m sharing a few things I truly wish someone had told me ahead of time.
Here’s what I wish I knew before becoming a mom—little truths that might help you feel a little less alone on the wild, wonderful ride of motherhood.
You Don’t Have to Love Every Moment
You’ve probably heard it a hundred times—“Enjoy every second! They grow up so fast!” And yes, there are sweet, heart-melting moments in those early days. But let’s be honest: not every moment is magical. Some moments are messy, loud, frustrating, and completely overwhelming. And you know what? That doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a real one.
There’s so much pressure to feel grateful all the time, but it’s okay to admit that some days are just plain hard. You can love your baby deeply and still feel touched out, exhausted, or desperate for five minutes alone. That emotional rollercoaster? Totally normal.
The truth is, struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human. Parenting is full of highs and lows, and you can feel all of it. So take a deep breath. You’re doing better than you think.
You’re Still You
One of the biggest things I didn’t expect—and definitely what I wish I knew before becoming a mom—was how much I’d miss… me. Not just the freedom to leave the house without planning like it’s a military operation—but the version of myself who had time to think, laugh with friends, or drink a hot cup of coffee. Motherhood changes you in beautiful ways, but it can also make you feel like parts of your old self have disappeared.
If you’ve ever caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and thought, “Who even am I anymore?”—you’re not alone. That feeling is real, and it’s okay. Missing your old life doesn’t mean you don’t love your new one. It just means you’re adjusting to a whole new version of yourself.
Start small. Maybe it’s five minutes with a journal, dancing in the kitchen to your favorite song, or texting a friend to say hi. You’re still in there—just growing, evolving, and learning to hold space for the mom version of you and you that’s always there.
Google Isn’t Always Your Friend
It’s tempting to look everything up when you’re a new mom. Why is the baby making that noise? Is it normal for them to nap for 17 minutes? Should their poop be that color? Before you know it, you’re down an internet rabbit hole, convinced something is wrong—even when it’s probably totally fine.
I definitely found myself googling things at 2 a.m. that only made me feel more anxious. The truth is, while the internet can be helpful, it can also make you second-guess every little decision. What helped me most was learning to trust my gut. The more time I spent getting to know my baby, the more confident I felt in reading their cues and figuring out what worked for us.
So yes, looking things up is okay—but try to balance that with listening to your instincts. Stick to a few trusted sources, ask a pediatrician or another parent you trust, and let the rest go. You know your baby better than any search engine ever will.
Your Baby Will Teach You
Before becoming a parent, I thought I had to know everything right away—like there was a “right” way to do every little thing. But what I’ve learned is that babies are some of the best teachers. They don’t come with instructions, but they do come with little clues if we slow down and pay attention. Every day, your baby is showing you who they are, what they need, and how they feel. And guess what? You’ll learn together.
It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right now. No one does. Parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present. When you listen, observe, and respond with love (even when you’re tired or unsure), you’re doing it right.
Real talk? There’s no one-size-fits-all method. Every baby is different, every parent is learning, and there’s no gold star for doing it by the book. The real magic happens in those small, everyday moments where you figure it out together.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help (Really!)
Somewhere along the way, we picked up this idea that being a “good mom” means doing it all on your own. But let me tell you—that’s just not true. The “supermom” image might look impressive from the outside, but trying to do everything alone only leads to burnout and overwhelm. Real strength? That’s knowing when to raise your hand and say, “I could really use a hand right now.”
Help can look like a lot of things: someone bringing you a meal, watching the baby while you shower, folding a basket of laundry, or simply listening while you cry or vent or laugh. None of that makes you weak—it makes you human.
Asking for support isn’t a failure. It’s a brave, wise thing to do. You’re not supposed to carry it all alone. Let people show up for you. You deserve it.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
When you’re in the thick of it—running on empty, wearing the same shirt for the third day, and trying to remember the last time you ate a real meal—it’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough. But here’s the truth: if you’re showing up, loving your baby, and trying your best, you are more than enough.
The little things you do every day—rocking them to sleep, changing diapers, soothing tears, offering cuddles—they all matter more than you know. Your baby doesn’t need perfection. They need you. Just as you are, right now.
This season can feel long and lonely, but it won’t last forever. The fog lifts, the days get easier, and your confidence will grow. Until then, be gentle with yourself. You’re doing an amazing job—even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
If you’ve made it this far, I hope this post felt like a deep breath. These are the things I truly wish I knew before becoming a mom—the quiet truths that often get left out of the baby books. Because the reality is that parenting is full of unknowns, and no one has it all figured out.
You’re learning every single day, and that’s more than enough. There’s no perfect formula—just love, patience, and a whole lot of trying. So be kind to yourself. You’re not behind, you’re not alone, and you’re doing better than you think.
Whenever you need a moment of honesty or a gentle reminder, come back here for some real talk. You’ve got this, one little step at a time.